In Indian custom age is one of the most important factors in choosing partner for marriage. Indian society looks at man and woman differently when it comes to choosing partners. Men look for women at least 3 years younger to them many a times the age difference is close to 10 years and is considered normal.
On the other hand women look for partners who are older to them by a margin of 2 to 5 years.
Indian Muslim society is such they consider it normal when a man is even 15 years older to them but when the women is even a few month older it is considered abnormal and at times looked upon as something done with vested interest.
This is how generally arranged marriages are done in Indian Muslim society.
Love marriages on the other hand are done in the same age group (college mates/ class mates/ work colleague) it seldom happens that a man is marrying a woman older to him.
Can we do anything about it?
At nikah.io we are trying to create a shift in the mindset of people. We are positive about our efforts that some day change will happen but looking at the early progress it looks like we are trying to climb mount Everest barefoot. This custom is so prevalent talking about it makes us a social outcast.
Is this custom anything to do with Islam?
No. It has nothing to do with Islam. The first woman that the Rasul Allah SAW married was Khadijah RA, a woman 15 years older to him and was one of the 4 perfect woman Allah sent to earth the other three being Asiya the wife of Pharaoh, Mariyam the mother of Jesus and Fatima RA the daughter of Rasul Allah.
And we can give a thousand examples of older woman being married to the Prophets (Peace be upon them all), Sahabas (RA), Tabaiees (RA) and Tabe Tabieens (RA).
When people say, age is just a number? They are lie ing.
The custom of marrying a woman immaterial of their age is considered as abnormal as Muslim man indulging in Polygamy.
There is fault at both sides.
A MAN will not marry a woman older to him and
A WOMAN will not allow her husband to take another wife.
If you can think of a fix. Please write to us.
nikah.io exists for two purposes-
1. Making marriage easy again. All Muslims getting matches immaterial age gaps, financial position, and medical condition.
2. Making Muslims united again. It is so sad to see Muslims who believe in the same God, read the same Quran, follow the same Prophet (PBUH) are ready to kill / slaughter each other for the smallest of the differences. God willing we will remove “caste” option from our website in the future.
This is a very commendable and brave topic indeed! We need to spread more awareness and progressive mindset in this “modern” society as has been prevalent since the time of our Holy Prophet Muhammad SAWS
Totally agree with Indian Muslims and their approach towards marriages.